Holiday Helper
by MuggleBeene
Summary: George Weasley has a new drink out for the Christmas Season. With the largest snowfall on record coming down, and parties beginning, what could possibly go wrong? Written for the Teachers' Lounge Christmas story thingy. Not a part of the Professor Muggle series.


**Holiday Helper**

 _Late October, 2022_

 _Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, Diagon Alley_

As the wireless played in the background, the man in the chaotically untidy office turned away from his desk and leaned forward. This was bad. Magnificently bad. Utterly horrible. He scratched where the ear used to be and pushed his red hair back from his head, realizing that he was sweating slightly, which was absurd. He kept his office at 'near cold' for multiple reasons. It had to be the Quidditch match, that was it. And that bet. It was a sure thing, Chudley hadn't beaten Puddlemere by over one hundred points in...it had never happened. And now? If he lost?

"Mr. Weasley, which one..."

George turned with irritation at the young wizard in front of him. He'd hired the boy straight out of Hogwarts, all those detentions were a good sign, but right now he wanted to strangle him. "What? What now?" A cheer from the direction of the wireless made him turn back and shake his head. Had Chudley scored again? "Make it fast."

"Um..." Morris took the parchment out and scanned it again. "For the Holiday Helper, should we..."

"Dammit, I don't care, it's what we discussed. Use the stuff in the blue packaging. Splendid. There, sorted." George turned back to the wireless, hoping that somehow Puddlemere could stage an epic comeback.

Morris did as requested, adding the ingredients in the blue package. He thought it was odd, as the recipe called for the green package, just like in the Daydream charms, but Mr. Weasley was Mr. Weasley, after all.

 _23 December 2022_

 _Hogwarts Staff Room, 10:00am_

Minerva McGonagall sat by the fire, a book in hand, tartan throw over her legs. The snow had started late the previous night, falling harder and harder, making the castle even colder than usual; she looked out the window and was amazed that it somehow seemed worse than earlier. It made her worried for the children, heading back on the Hogwarts Express later that morning. Hagrid said that even magic was having a hard time keeping the tracks clean enough for travel, and Merlin knows it would not be an enjoyable Christmas holiday for anyone to start it out being stranded at school.

Hearing the door open she turned to see Neville Longbottom levitating a wooden crate in front of him, a large smile upon his face. "I thought you'd gone."

"Not yet. Thought I'd help spread a little Christmas cheer first." Levitating the crate to a halt upon a table Neville sat down next to her. "Hannah sent me a crate. You know about the Holiday Helper, right?"

"Is this one of George Weasley's concoctions?" She arched an eyebrow at him. "Should I be concerned?"

"Not this time." Neville opened the crate and pulled out two green bottles with ceramic red tops fashioned in the shape of a Father Christmas head. "Had to have the recipe go through all the proper testing at the Ministry before being sold. Rather harmless, actually, a kind of peppermint drink with white chocolate but it's, well, an enhancer. Even if you're having a rather bad day it will help put you in a festive mood. Hannah starts selling them today and sent me a case for the staff room. Would you like one?"

"Should we wait?" Minerva sat down her book, sighed, and looked at the window. "I'm rather worried about the weather."

Neville peered outside. "It is really coming down. Let's wait until the other professors join us, then."

-ooo-

As the snow continued to fall a man exited out of a Diagon Alley shop, a wooden crate clutched under his arm. He wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck, moving it up over his face, and began trudging slowly through the snow. Luckily he didn't have that far to go, just down the alley a bit towards the back of one of the new shops. Finally reaching the side entrace the man levitated the crate for a moment, opened the door, and hurried inside. After making his way up three flights of stairs he stood at a door. Instead of knocking, though, he just kicked it several times.

"Keep your hair on!" A voice came from behind the door.

"I'm cold, come on!"

The door opened and a girl with chocolate coloured eyes and her hair in long braids, gathered at the back, smirked. "You look like a snowman." As he started to walk in she put out her hand. "Wait, James. Pillock." Taking out her wand she blasted the snow of of him with hot air. "Ok, did you get it?"

"I got it, dunno why I had to go get it." He turned to her. "I mean, your dad's making the stuff. You couldn't ask him to..."

"James." A younger man in a cardigan and glasses looked at him and shook his head. "When did George ever give you anything for free?" He turned to his cousin. "Right, Roxie?"

As James mumbled about it being Christmas and the spirit of giving he moved through the small amount of people in his flat and put the crate on the table. Rosie was there, along with two of her Ravenclaw roommates, Albus and his new girlfriend, Scorpius Malfoy, who annoyed James not because he was a git or anything just on principle, mostly because he was too smart for his own good, a few people from his year or Al's year or even some from Teddy's year. It was his first flat and he'd decided to throw a party, but it wasn't supposed to be this many people.

He looked over at the impromptu bar that had formed in his kitchen. "So why'd I need the Holiday Helper if we've got all that?"

"Ah!" Teddy came around the corner, slinging an arm around his shoulder. "Because I believe Holiday Helper with a bit of firewhiskey would be rather excellent, that's why. Plus, you owe me."

"Fine. First time Chudley wins in ages, fine. Right. Ok, so since the snow's really coming down I say we turn the music up, mix up a few Holiday Helper drinks and get the party going!"

-ooo-

Lily Potter kept turning her tie over and over until finally a hand came over and swatted her on the arm, making her turn in irritation. "Why'd you do that?"

Hugo Weasley pointed to her tie. "Because you've made it all wonky and you're doing that worried fidgeting thing."

Lily glared at him but smoothed out the green and silver tie. "Fine. But I am worried. We should have left her ages ago."

Hugo shrugged. "I dunno, it's not bad. There's a fire, so it's not that cold. Besides, it's not every day you get to hang out in Hogsmeade Station. Think about it, we just usually pass through here, but if you take the time…look over there, in the corner, above Hagrid's head. You ever notice the woodwork? See, it looks like a bird in the corner but it's not just any bird, it's a phoenix."

"Merlin's pants." Lily let her head fall back against the wall. "My last Christmas ride home from Hogwarts and I'm stuck here in the station having to listen to all your Ravenclaw 'did you ever…' crap. Stun me now."

Before Hugo could respond Hagrid called for everyone's attention. Apparently this snowfall was larger than he could remember, or possibly anyone could remember. His announcement that they were going to stay in Hogsmeade station and wait for much longer, possibly overnight, was met with disappointed groans. Trying to make everyone feel better Hagrid promised them a treat and disappeared off to the train. He returned a bit later, hair and beard so covered with snow he looked like Father Christmas, albeit a very large one. Under his arms were several crates of Holiday Helper.

-ooo-

"How long must I endure this?" Pansy Parkinson looked at herself in the mirror and felt as if she might vomit. Green leggings, idiotic long toed booties, a rather short red skirt, the green tunic with a red collar and that stupid, stupid hat; red and green swirly stripes ending in a pom-pom ball that sparkled like a sweet that had just been licked.

"Until after the party." Daphne Greengrass adjusted her dress robes and touched up her makeup. "It's just the Ministry Employee Children's party. I did it last year." She glanced at Pansy. "What, afraid your new boyfriend will be out there?"

Pansy did the combination sneer/smile that everyone in Slytherin had perfected years ago. "Oh, he's younger than me but not that young. Any new candidates to leave you at the altar for centaur?"

Daphne glared at Pansy in the mirror but did not say a word; she left with very quick and loud steps.

"And that's why we haven't gone public." Pansy put lipstick on and frowned at her reflection. A smile soon replace that frown, though, as she took out her wand. With a few flicks it was much better; the hat was solid red, the end no longer shone in the light and the neckline was much more to her taste. Then she remembered it was a children's party and raised it up a little bit.

Walking out of the ladies she was met by Undersecretary Weasley. "Parkinson, it's about...have you done something to your costume?"

"Yes, Hermione, I fixed it. So..."

Hermione sighed. "Can't be helped. Right. Time. The children will queue up for Father Christmas and your job is to help keep them entertained whilst waiting. I know this isn't what...that you...here."

Pansy took the bottle. "What's this?"

"Holiday Helper. Helps put you in the Christmas mood." Hermione paused. "You might need a few of those. Right. I'm off, weather is dreadful and there's something going on at Hogsmeade. Try to be...just try, please."

Shrugging, Pansy took a drink from the bottle. It was rather good, like drinking a hot chocolate, a white chocolate, with peppermint and...and she felt as if she had just come in by the fire after being outside. It felt...good. She quickly drank more from the bottle and headed over to where the Father Christmas queue had started.

-ooo-

"George?" Harry Potter sat down his bottle of Holiday Helper and looked over the Burrow's kitchen table at his brother-in-law. "This is good."

"Always doubting me." George shook his head and took another drink. "It's suprising Ginny's put up with you this long." He stopped looked at Harry.

"George?" Ginny sat down next to her husband. "What's going on?"

George took another big pull of off his Holiday Helper, but instead of swallowing it he swished it around several times in his mouth, then swallowed, the gulp almost involuntary. He closed his eyes, took a deep sigh and turned to Harry. "What does Veritaserum taste like?"

"It has no taste." Harry's eyes went wide. "Are you telling me..."

"It's missing the gingerbread." George shook his head. "That was one of the final touches, a hint of gingerbread at the end. I'm pretty sure all of the Holiday Helper is a partial truth serum."

"You're an idiot who I love like a brother but I just might kill." Harry shot up straight in his seat and then laughed. "It's going to be an interesting Christmas. The snow's so bad, families are all together and now there's a holiday drink with truth serum in it. Ginny I'll probably have to work so much straightening things out we won't be able to have out getaway."

George leaned across the table and looked at his sister? "What were you going to do on your getaway?"

Without hesitating Ginny blurted out "Order room service, shag like rabbits and maybe try out the new toys I..." She stopped because Harry had his hand over her mouth.

Wiping her hands on her apron Molly came into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"Have you had any of the Holiday Helper, Mum?" George looked at her, hoping he'd hear the answer he wanted.'

"Not yet, too busy, dear."

"Don't!"

-ooo-

As the party in James' flat had begun in earnest Teddy sat behind the kitchen table, lining up the cups with spiked Holiday Helper. Thank Merlin he'd stocked up on firewhiskey earlier. James took the cups and began handing them out until finally the table was clear and everyone had a cup. He yelled for attention and when it had quieted down raised his cup.

"Here's to a Happy Christmas, cheers everyone!"

Everyone cheered and then took a drink. As they began talking about the Holiday Helper, off in the corner one of Rosie's Ravenclaw roommates slapped a Hufflepuff boy. That began a general hubub as people tried to separate them, and then it became apparent there was something wrong with the drinks. Pointed questions came out and two former Gryffindor men stood by the fireplace. One shrugged, the other smiled, and they started snogging.

"Bloody hell, this stuff is cursed!" James held up a bottle of Holiday Helper.

"Not cursed, there's something in it." Albus adjusted his glasses. "You always go with hyperbole when a normal phrase would do."

James shook his head. "I always knew you'd be in Ravenclaw."

"Dad thought you might go into Slytherin but Mum said Gryffindor because you're just like Uncle Ron."

Squinting James shook his head. "I am not, I don't have red hair." He turned and grabbed his cousin's arm, pulling her into the conversation. "Am I like Uncle Ron?"

"You both eat the same. No manners." Roxie clapped a hand to her mouth. "What did Dad do to this stuff?"

"It's awful." Albus shook his head. "I just broke up with Elaine because she told me she's only dating me because I'm a Potter." He turned to Roxie. "So who are you dating?"

"I'm shagging Scorpius." Roxie covered her face with her hands.

Albus and James looked at each other and, once the shock had worn off, began laughing. James tapped his brother on the shoulder and looked across the room. Finally finding him he shouted "Hey Malfoy, why are you dating my cousin?"

In the corner Scorpius couldn't believe it, the words just came tumbling out. "Because she's brilliant, she's funny and she has a delicious arse!"

Albus laughed uproariously. "Come on, now we can find out about Ted."

The brothers searched the flat but couldn't find Ted in the midst of people arguing, crying, sulking...the exact opposite of what a Christmas party should be. Eventually, after almost giving up, James went into his bedroom and opened up the closet. There, sitting on the floor, was Teddy.

"Hiding?" James shook his head. "Really?"

Teddy took a deep breath. "We said we'd keep it a secret and now it's going to come..."

"Who's your mystery girlfriend?" Albus adjusted his glasses. "Teddy, who..."

"Pansy Parkinson." Teddy's hair turned bright red as he leaned back, trying to fade into the wall of robes and disappear.

"I did not expect that." Al turned to his brother.

"You aren't that smart and you are pants at romance." James blanched. "Let's start looking for a cure, or something to fix this."

-ooo-

In the staffroom at Hogwarts music played softly in the background, and the fire roared in the corner, but there was no real conversation. The extraordinary circumstances of the children being stranded at Hogsmeade station had everyone on edge, and then there was the conversation. After everyone had entered the staffroom Neville had passed around the Holiday Helper and they'd toasted to a successful term. Things got a bit dicier after that, though. Sybil Trewlawney said that it wasn't as good as her sherry, to which Poppy Pomfrey replied that Sybil would be an expert after all the sherry she drinks all the time. Minerva tried to calm them down but instead said that it was fine because nobody but the crackpots believed in diviniation anyway. Filius Flitwick said that he wasn't sure but he was willing to give Sybil the benefit of the doubt, but that just led to Madam Hooch saying that the only reason Flitwick defended Sybil was because he'd been sleeping with her for years.

It was at that point that Potions professor, a first year instructor by the name of Katarina Elub, stood up and said that everyone was acting as if they'd been dosed by truth serum. From there everyone fell silent and made their way to chairs, mostly in pairs but with a few people off by themselves.

Taking a deep breath Neville stood up and went to the center of the staffroom. "Since we've been dosed with truth serum, which I believe is in the holiday helper, I want to say something. I love Christmas. It's one of my favourite times of the year. And I really love Christmas at Hogwarts. Being a professor makes it even better because there were times I never thought I'd leave this castle alive during the war. But now, with all the students, and no war, and staff that get along, I can't think of anything better except to have Hannah show up in my room wearing a Father Christmas hat and nothing else but a smile." After closing his eyes, waiting for the laughs to subside, Neville opened his eyes to glance around the staffroom. "So we all have things that irritate each other but it's Christmas. Let's remember that."

"Well said, Neville." Minerva nodded at him. "Perhaps we should exchange gifts...no, I say we wait until this wears off."

Poppy nodded. "It's been a while, so we shouldn't have too long to go. Hopefully."

-ooo-

Inside Hogsmeade Station Hagrid wasn't sure if it was possible to pull out all of his hair, including beard, but he was about ready to see if he could. The children had all gone mental, some were crying, two Hufflepuff boys had to be separated for fighting, a Ravenclaw seventh year slapped a Gryffindor sixth year, it was as if everything had gone horribly wrong.

He sat off in the corner, almost oblivious to the din going on around him, until he felt a tug at his sleeve. "Hugo?"

"Hagrid, can you tell me a lie?"

"Why would I need to go an' do that?"

"Experiment." Hugo nodded. "Something easy to disprove."

"Fine." Hagrid looked down to see Lily had joined Hugo. "Fine. Yer parents were in Slytherin and yer mum..." he pointed to Hugo "...loves flying on her broom."

"Brilliant!" Hugo turned to Lily. "It didn't affect him because he's very large and part giant."

"Hey!" Hagrid sat up.

Lily nodded. "It's ok, Hagrid, Hugo figured it out. The Holiday Helper has got something in it that makes you tell the truth. That's why everyone is being awful or sweet or..."

"Blimey, Lily." Hagrid stood up and went over to the window. The snow had drifted over the Hogsmeade Station windows ages ago, so he opened a window and stuck his pink umbrella outside, opening the umbrella. Snow dissipated for a moment and then after he pulled in the umbrella the open area filled with snow almost immediately. "Train's not gonna run. We're gonna need portkeys, but I canna do them."

"Hugo can." Lily stared at her cousin. "I know he created a portkey to go home after being out late with his girlfriend."

"I think Dad knows but Mum doesn't." Hugo shook his head. "Ok, but I can only do one to someplace I know well and I don't want to do home because I'll get in trouble so that means the Burrow."

"Go on, I'll tell 'em it was a Hogwarts emergency." Hagrid nodded and then shook his head as another fight broke out. "An' hurry, will ya?"

-ooo-

 _25 December_

Harry sat in his office at the Auror Department, stacks of parchment on his desk. Normally he wouldn't be in the office on Christmas, but it was almost eight in the evening and after the Christmas Eve he'd had, well, it was nice to be in a quiet spot for a bit.

They'd tracked down the chain of events that had led to the spiked Holiday Helper, and even though George had blamed the Chudley Cannons it was still a partial public relations disaster for him. The Auror department had been flooded with incidents, the Hogwarts Express had never left Hogsmeade and he'd discovered that his nephew was quite proficient at creating marginally legal, untraceable portkeys. The students were all distributed to their homes later, after a series of portkeys had been created by one of the Ministry officials in that area, but only after he had calmed down about the Children's party. Harry wasn't sure exactly what happened there.

And then there was Christmas itself. A lot of sheepish grins, wincing and avoidance of specific topics went around, not to mention the company. Harry always had the big family Christmas at his house, but when Ginny tapped his arm you could have knocked him over with a feather seeing who was in his sitting room. It was one thing to see Roxanne Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy, but Teddy and Pansy Parkinson? He was just glad there was no more Holiday Helper around.

It had been the greatest blizzard to ever hit Hogsmeade, actually more like the entire British Isles. Magic could only do so much to make it through all that snow, but in the end they'd all had a good Christmas. It may have been a bit different Christmas than what they expected, but it was still Christmas. He smiled, remembering what he'd whispered in Ginny's ear while still on the Holiday Helper, very happy to hear her whispered reply. He just wished he hadn't blushed so badly, and that Molly hadn't seen him. Thankfully, though, she just smiled and gave him some more treacle tart.

Wonderful thing, treacle tart. With your mouth full of it you can't say a thing.

 _ **A/N: Leaving it a bit late and mashing up several TL requests. BadMum, AHighandLonesomeSound, Blue Artemis, Lightblue Nymphadora and Intervilium, hope it fits in your stocking. For everyone else I'm sorry I didn't get it mixed in.**_

 _ **Merry Christmas to the Teachers' Lounge and everyone else.**_


End file.
